Well, I guess it's off to a iffy start of a topic, haha. A topic that I don't think I'd ever want to share to individuals inter-personally, but rather to the whole whopping web world? Yeah, I don't get it either some times. Nonetheless, here it plucking goes. I was rewinding some memories I had at Saint Louis University on an early morning (slower than molasses) CTA train ride to my second day at a new job located in the Loop. Rebelution was blasting in one ear and two obnoxiously loud young ladies talking about the Barre Code health program in the other. I thought to myself, "How in the world did I make it here? How do I have a seat on this train?" I never give or gave myself any credit on my accomplishments because simply, I thought I could have done significantly better; either a) my progression was slow, b) I didn't live it up to certain 'high' standards or expectations, and/or c) I just didn't try hard enough. Excerpt: The first three years of college was a rocky and wild roller coaster ride of figuring out who I wanted to be as an individual, what career I wanted to follow, finding my non-existent confidence, building on my already-poor communication skills, expanding my introvert to extrovert characteristics, and so on. I felt like I was surrounded by so many individuals who already knew what they wanted in life, what they wanted to be and had all the support in the world to fulfill those goals. To this day, majority are either excelling in Medical School, Law School, Business School, are amazing registered nurses, and/or have their own successful business. Honestly, I felt like I didn't have a 'deserved' place to be there, lost motivation countless of times and simply wanted to give up. Whoopie-a-do! That's what college and growing up is all about - you eventually figure things out. Well, I just didn't think the turning point to figuring things out was going to be like this..... During the third year of college, I moved into a grimy, but insanely cheap apartment complex with two other girls to help our good guy friends keep their fraternity side of property alive - good ole' Vandyland. Of course, we lived right above the basement where the weekend parties were - not ideal at all, haha. It was the end of my Junior year and we all decided to have a post-final exams fiesta. I was pretty Kimmy toasty, but I wasn't much of a drinker as I claimed the "mom" nickname. Funny enough, I actually like it. I have no shame! Haha. Any who, most of us were scattered on the top floor playing card games, beer pong, darts and/or cracking jokes. I had to step away to grab more ice for my drink from the freezer and of course, when I was turning away as I was closing the freezer door, fairly coherent - one unnamed guy says to the other guy, "Nahhh broooo, she's too fat!". I turned around knowing well that I'm the only other female in the kitchen with two other guys I didn't know and said, "Excuse me?" then they said, "Who else would we be talking about?", and all proceeded to laugh. Welp, I sure as hell was not thee happiest camper on the planet for awhile. It for sure broke down every little bit of me and I just cried. There were other contributing factors on top of that, but lets just say I was happy to move out of the apartment, was ready to burn some bridges and to start a fresh new beginning. That following summer, I decided I needed positivity sprinkled into my life. I needed to make some changes in order to get myself on track with school, find my confidence, self-esteem and respect, and all of thee above. A friend mentioned the Paleo Diet and I without a doubt incorporated that into my daily life, along with working out every single whopping day for eight months straight. In the duration, I worked three jobs, had an internship, was a leader for CampusKitchens, sponsored my supervisor’s son to play basketball at the local YMCA, schooled full-time, volunteered for an inner-Saint Louis city school and joined a group on a Public Health and Medical mission trip to Panama. It sounds quite crazy, but I came to realize it was one of the most productive and happiest parts of my life. I was able to focus on me. I excelled way better in my courses than I had in the previous school years. On top of that, I was even excited to go to class! I was motivated to explore the city. I was excited to meet new people. I signed up for a 5k run and a 10k bike ride. I was great at time management for once in my life. I was able to figure out what I wanted to be as a human-being and in throughout it all, I successfully and in the most healthy way - lost 29 lbs. Felt great, looked great and was doing flipping great. I came to the realization on the train that morning that it's a contradicting situation. I hate those two guys, but I don't hate them. Sorry, not sorry, but being drunk will never be an excuse in my book. Maybe you were trying to be cool? Maybe you were going through your immature phase? Nahhh, maybe you were just a generic d-dag... broooo. I just hope your brother/sister, best friend or future daughter and/or son never have to encounter people so rude and belittling like you. So, here it goes: a big thanks to you two assholes for being judgmental jerks. Thank you for calling me fat. Thank you for laughing at me in front of everyone. Thank you for having the balls to say something harmful. Thank you for being part of a fraternity I give no fucks for. Thank you for helping me realize I want nothing to do with people associated with you guys. Thank you for making me laugh hysterically when you tried 'hitting on me' a year later. Thank you for helping me find my motivation. Thank you for kicking my ass into shape. Thank you for helping me find some confidence. Thank you for helping me be more optimistic about myself and in others. Thank you for being so little and making me so big. Thank you for giving me life. More importantly, thank you for giving me a seat on that damn slow CTA train. - Kimmy 2 Chainz **Runaway - Kanye West**
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